How to Increase and Build Self-Confidence?

Self-confidence is very important for everyone’s growth and development, but we are often troubled by lack of self-confidence.

Some people may lack confidence since childhood.

There are also some people who are relatively calm in a familiar environment, but once faced with a new situation they are very unconfident, often wanting to avoid, unwilling to meet new friends and so on.

According to the book “Oser. Thérapie de la confiance en soi” (confidence to heal wounds) by French psychiatrist Frédéric Fanget.

We have summarized the reasons for a person’s lack of self-confidence and three methods that can help us improve self-confidence.

Composition of self-confidence

When we say “confidence”, it is often said that we are confident in accomplishing something, emphasizing personal ability.

When assessing whether we are confident, we judge from a more holistic perspective. In addition to our personal abilities, we also include our attitudes towards ourselves, our relationships, and the world.

– Bottom layer: self-esteem
– Middle layer: confidence in the usual sense
– Top layer: Self-affirmation in interpersonal interaction

Reasons for lack of confidence

1. Too much attention to failure
2. Dare not feel satisfied with yourself
3. Must be recognized by others to feel valuable
4. Don’t understand why was denied and isolated

Three key ways to increase self-confidence

1. Love yourself more

Self-esteem is the foundation of self-confidence. If we always hold a negative evaluation of ourselves, it is difficult for us to truly build self-confidence.

In order to become self-esteem, we must learn to understand the true self. Before making judgments on yourself, it is better to observe yourself more carefully.

Sometimes, it may be that we fall into prejudice thinking of denying ourselves.

We can try to record our evaluation of ourselves, and list the facts that support these evaluations and the facts that deny these evaluations for comparison and evaluation.

Perhaps, we can discover what we do not know about ourselves and our own complexity. This will reduce and avoid excessive self-blame and many unnecessary guilt.

2. Dare to act

Better action results require not only passion but also suitable methods.

We need to understand ourselves more clearly, and then think about what is more suitable for hard work based on our own strengths and weaknesses.

In order to better improve our mobility, we need to bring ourselves into a virtuous circle.

For example, if you choose something that you are more likely to be good at, you may use your potential better and be more successful.

After you succeed, your self-worth will increase, and you may get stronger motivation, which will make you more confident in facing things.

When facing the experience of failure, we must also realize that the failure or success of many things is not absolute. It may be a complete failure, it may be a partial failure, or it may be a partial success.

So don’t use one word to simply summarize when thinking about the result of this matter.

3. Be yourself in communication

It is often difficult to express our true needs in interpersonal relationships because we are enveloped by negative thoughts before expressing.

In the process of gradually changing our thinking, we must gradually upgrade our actions.

First list some real needs, such as refusing others, asking for help when encountering difficulties, exposing your own vulnerability, etc.

Assess the difficulty of these behaviors, and then start with the least difficult things.

It is best to record these actions, reflect on yourself better, and find areas for improvement.

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